A Fighting Chance

The Adventures of Gadget Hackwrench Episode 5 "A Fighting Chance"

By Julie Bihn ( jbihn@u.arizona.edu)

Gadget Hackwrench, the Rescue Rangers are copyrighted to the Walt Disney corporation. All other characters are the sole creation of the author.

Opening Scene. Gadget is seen in a far off shot walking through a dark alley (at night), toolbox in tow, her footsteps audible. The shot switches to a close-up of Gadget, who looks a little nervous. GADGET: Golly, it's dark out here... Camera pans, showing Gadget walking by a trash can, but fixes on the trash can once Gadget has passed it. Four dirty-looking mice (one of whom is female) peer out. GWENDOLYN: Okay, guys... The four mice jump at a surprised Gadget. One takes her toolbox, while the other three surround her. GADGET: What are you? The mouse looks through her toolbox, annoyed. MOUSE 1: Hey, there's nothin' but tools in here! The female mouse steps closer to Gadget, who steps back. GWENDOLYN: No problem, boys. Maybe she's got some jewelry or somethin' we can take... In a farther away camera shot, the mice all push Gadget around, searching her for something of value. In a closer shot, one of them takes her goggles and puts them on over his eyes. MOUSE 2: Hey, look! Now I'm a pilot! MOUSE 1: [mutters] No, you're an idiot. Gadget tries to leap at Mouse 2, but is restrained by the two other male mice, who hold her by the arms. GADGET: Give those back ! MOUSE 2: Make me! Gadget struggles desperately. The female mouse searches Gadget once more. GWENDOLYN: Hey, what's this? The female mouse shows Gadget's glass cutter to the gang, in front of a furious Gadget. GADGET: It's my glass cutter! GWENDOLYN: Oh, great! Now we'll be able to visit our favorite merchants after they've shut their doors for the night! Thanks! All the mice laugh. MOUSE 1: Way to go, Gwendolyn! GADGET: Gimme back my stuff! Mouse 2 walks over to Gadget's toolbox and kicks it onto its side, sending the tools flying out of it. MOUSE 2: (sarcastically) Oops. Sorry. Gwendolyn smiles at a furious Gadget, who's still being held. GWENDOLYN: Well, it's been fun, but the night is young, and we've got some other suckers to mug. See ya 'round! The mice holding Gadget throws her against the wall. Gadget slumps down, nearly unconscious, and looks after them weakly. GWENDOLYN: [off.screen] Hey, these are some nice wheels... The shot shifts the the four mice in the Ranger Skate, laughing, driving it off, with Gadget in the background, helpless. Switch scenes to the main room of Ranger HQ, where Dale is reading a mystery novel at the main table while Chip is reading a comic book. CHIP: I don't see what you like about these things... DALE: Me neither. There's no space aliens in this book, or superheroes, or anything FUN! CHIP: SOME heroes use their BRAINS instead of their muscles. DALE: But come on! Who wants to hear about THAT? Let's switch back. Chip and Dale switch books and start reading. They look up when Monterey Jack walks in, holding a plate, with Zipper behind. MONTEREY: Hey, do any of you guys want some of my? Monterey's whiskers twitch, eyes spiraling. MONTEREY: Ch-uh-eeze surprise? Old family recipe... Monterey holds up an unappetizing, gooey mess of half-cooked cheese on a bottlecap plate. MONTEREY: Heh heh. Too good to wait for it t' cook all the way. You want some? CHIP: No thanks. Monterey Jack shrugs. DALE: I'll have some! MONTEREY: (a split second after Dale's sentence) Suit yourselves. Monty turns the plate upside-down above his open mouth, waits for the cheese to ooze in, and swallows once it does. DALE: But I? Zipper looks to the left and right. ZIPPER: Where's Gadget? Chip and Dale look concerned. DALE: Isn't she back yet? CHIP: It's not like Gadget to be this late... MONTEREY: She probably just got sidetracked by some stuff at the junkyard. The popsicle-stick door swings open, with a pained and bruised looking Gadget, minus goggles (until noted otherwise), but with toolbox, behind it. ALL RANGERS BUT GADGET: Gadget! Chip and Dale rush over and help her down the stairs. CHIP: Are you all right? DALE: What happened? The chipmunks help Gadget into a teacup chair; Gadget looks down angrily. GADGET: Some punks stole my goggles and my glass cutter, AND the Ranger Skate! Monterey Jack approaches, concerned. MONTEREY: But are you all right, love? Maybe y' shouldn't be goin' out at night alone... Shot switches to a close-up of a determined Gadget. GADGET: No. Maybe it's those BUMS that shouldn't be going out at night... The other Rangers exchange looks of concern. Switch Scene: shot of Ranger Tree, very early morning. Switch to interior of Ranger Headquarters, with Gadget in front of the TV, dressed in a karate outfit (until noted otherwise), copying the moves of a man on the television screen. MAN: Now that you've mastered the basic techniques, you're ready to break boards with your arm, foot, head, or any other appendage of your choosing. Have fun! Chip enters the room sleepily. CHIP: Gadget? Shot switches to back of Chip's head, with the television displaying the karate man in the background. ANNOUNCER: (in quick, low, fine-print voice) The makers of this video are not responsible for any injuries incurred by trying to break boards with your face. Gadget is standing in front the television, with several popsicle sticks set on two small spools of thread right ahead of her. Gadget is moving her arm to practice for actually breaking them. CHIP: GADGET! MAN: Just channel your energy and.. GADGET: Hi ya! Gadget breaks the boards with her paw. Chip looks surprised, and approaches her. CHIP: Gadget? Gadget walks over to the VCR and uses a flying kick to hit the 'eject' button on the VCR. A tape pops out. GADGET: Hi, Chip. Just spent a few hours working on some self-defense moves. Chip is appalled. CHIP: How late were you up? GADGET: Well, you see, TECHNICALLY, I never really went to bed last night. I just went down to the library and borrowed a few tapes. I've been practicing. If those guys ever run into me again, I'll teach them a lesson... CHIP: I thought you didn't like violence. Can't you just use your suction cup harpoons? GADGET: I won't always have my inventions to protect me, you know. Monterey Jack, Dale, and Zipper, all in their pajamas, enter. MONTEREY: Hey, Gadget, what are doin' you up to so early? We could hear ya yellin' all the way down in our bedrooms... Gadget smiles modestly. GADGET: Just learning a little self-defense. MONTEREY: Oh, REALLY... I'll bet you couldn't get outta this! Monterey takes Gadget from behind, wrapping his arms around her front. Gadget swiftly stomps on his foot, then ducks, pulling his weight over herself and throwing him to the ground. Monterey is awed and impressed, laying on the ground. The other Rangers are shocked. MONTEREY: Too-ra-loo... DALE: Wow... Zipper whistles. Gadget helps Monterey Jack back up; he doesn't put any weight on the foot Gadget stomped on. GADGET: Now, why don't you guys go make some breakfast? I've got some more practicing to do. CHIP: Actually, I thought mayb... Gadget steps closer to Chip, her eyes dangerous. GADGET: I SAID, why don't you guys go make breakfast. The other Rangers retreat hastily, chattering simultaneously. DALE: Sure thing! CHIP: You're the boss! MONTEREY: One breakfast, coming right up! ZIPPER: Okay! Switch to shot of Gadget smiling cheerily . GADGET: Thanks! Switch to shot of all the Rangers except Gadget, a little unhappy. MONTEREY: I don't know if I like what's gotten into our Gadget. CHIP: No problem. It's just a little phase... GADGET: (off screen) Hee.ya! Hyah! The other Rangers cringe, looking nervous. CHIP: I hope. Switch scenes to exterior of Ranger Headquarters, night. DALE: (off screen) Ow! Switch to interior, Chip a little alarmed, walking into main room of headquarters. DALE: (off screen) Come on, Gadget! Hey! Don't do that! Ow! My head! Come on! Quit! GADGET: (off screen) Never! Stop fighting now, and I'll make your death quick! Chip rushes into the room, alarmed. CHIP: Gadget! Dale! Camera pans to show the television screen, which shows a female and male figure fighting; Gadget and Dale are both using human-sized video game controllers. After taking a few blows, the male figure falls to the ground on the video game screen. CHIP: I thought you guys were in trouble! DALE: I AM! She just KILLED me! Gadget grins back at Chip victoriously. GADGET: The champion again! Wanna play, Chip? I'll go easy on you! Chip looks nervous. CHIP: N...no, thanks, Gadget... GADGET: Okay. One more time, Dale... Gadget and Dale resume playing. DALE: No! Hey! Not my eyeballs! Camera focuses on Chip, who sighs a little. Switch scenes to the Rangers all in the Rangermobile (daytime), wearing helmets, of course. Gadget is driving very aggressively, going so far as to drive right over a cat, and straight at the legs of a human. GADGET: Get out of my way! The other Rangers duck and cringe. After a maneuver into the street, the skateboard goes down an alley in a run-down part of town, where it stops. Gadget confidently unbuckles her seat belt, takes off her helmet, and gets out, then looks up at the others, annoyed. GADGET: Well? The other Rangers get out, all a bit scared. DALE: Gadget, I don't think... CHIP: This isn't a good idea... You could get hurt! GADGET: Just step away from the Rangermobile and hide! MONTEREY: Look, I'm all for ya fightin', but at least let us help! We don't wanna miss all the fun... GADGET: Get back, you guys! I can handle this by myself. The other Rangers retreat to behind a dumpster (minus helmets); Gadget crouches behind a wheel of the Rangermobile. A view of the street past the alley reveals the same gang of mice that attacked Gadget, with two more members, driving by in the Rangerskate. They drive off screen, but back up into the shot again. The camera focuses on them. Mouse 2 is still wearing Gadget's goggles over his eyes. GWENDOLYN: What have we here? MOUSE 1: Looks like another car. GWENDOLYN: More like a van! Come on, guys! Think of all the loot we could fit in that thing! The mice all exit the Rangerskate and walk towards the Rangermobile. Mouse 4 touches one of the wheels. MOUSE 4: This thing's nice. Wonder whose it is..well, whose it WAS, before we stole it from 'em. Gadget jumps out from behind the front left wheel, angrily. GADGET: Remember me? MOUSE 5: Who's that? GWENDOLYN: Just a little rat we mugged earlier. She's a wimp; we can take her. MOUSE 1: Yeah! Maybe she has another glass cutter! Gadget silently jumps at Mouse 2 and takes the goggles from his head. MOUSE 2: Hey! Mouse 2 attacks Gadget, who trips him while he's in motion. Mouse 2 falls to the ground. Mouse 4 punches at Gadget, who catches his fist and twists his arm around with it until he cries out in pain and falls to the ground, gripping his arm. Gwendolyn ponders. GWENDOLYN: Hmmm... Looks like she's gotten a little stronger... Maybe we'll need some WEAPONS... Mouse 3 gets out the glass cutter and swings it like a pole weapon at Gadget. Gadget dodges the first blow, then takes a hit to her shoulder. Switch to shot of other Rangers, angry, ready to come out and help. Switch back to fight; Gadget catches the glass cutter in both paws and swings Mouse 3 around by it, knocking him into the wall. He surrenders the weapon and falls down. Switch to shot of other Rangers, shocked, retreating a little. Switch to shot of Mouse 5 and Gwendolyn, both wielding knives (the blades from Exacto knives). Switch to shot of other Rangers, shocked. OTHER RANGERS: (gasp) Gadget (not holding glass cutter) kicks the knife out of Mouse 5's paws; he retreats quickly. Gwendolyn slashes at Gadget, who ducks, then catches Gwendolyn's hair and pulls her head back, then pulls Gwendolyn's leg up until the mouse loses her balance and falls. The gang quickly retreats, leaving the Rangerskate behind as well. Camera focuses on Gadget putting her goggles back on her head, as she usually wears them; the other Rangers hurry out to her, frightened. CHIP: Gadget, that was... GADGET: Amazing! I know! I could hardly believe it! Gadget picks up the glass cutter and puts it in the Rangerskate. GADGET: I mean, I hardly knew I could do all that! To take on six at once... Dale whispers to the other Rangers while Gadget is babbling. CHIP: 'Amazing' wasn't really the word I had in mind.... DALE: How about 'scary? Zipper buzzes and nods in agreement. Gadget walks over to them. GADGET: Well, someone's gotta drive the Rangerskate home... the rest of you can ride with me. Who wants to take the 'skate back? The other Rangers all raise their hands. Monterey Jack steps forward. MONTEREY: I will! Gadget cheerily steps into the Rangermobile, putting her seat belt and helmet on. GADGET: Okay, Monty! We'll see you back at the tree! CHIP: Actually, Gadget, I think maybe me and Dale and Zipper'll go back with Monty. DALE: Yeah. A shot of Gadget shows she's a little suspicious. GADGET: Why? Chip and Dale smile at her, flatteringly. DALE: 'Cause he's not as good a driver as you! CHIP: So he needs the help! ZIPPER: Yeah! Gadget shrugs. GADGET: Oh...all right.... Gadget drives off. Once she's gone, the other Rangers breathe a sigh of relief. MONTEREY: We gotta do somethin' about this..our Gadget's turned into a bloomin' killin' machine! She fights better than ME! DALE: Yeah! And one hotheaded mouse is enough for any crime-fighting group! MONTEREY: Hey! CHIP: I know, but what can we do about it? ROBOTIC VOICE: [interrupting] I have an idea... Chip turns around. CHIP: Who are... Camera pans back to reveal what seems to be an upside.down metal bucket with a metal jointed arm (with a finger and a thumb) and wheels . The arm quickly swipes all the Rangers in the heads, knocking them unconscious. Switch scenes to inside Ranger headquarters; Gadget is in an isolated room, wearing boxing gloves, and pounding away on a punching bag made from a sock. GADGET: What a rush! Being able to teach those jerks a lesson! Gadget briefly stops punching. GADGET: Hmm... I wonder if the others are having trouble with the Rangerskate. Maybe I should go check on them... Switch scenes to the exterior of the Ranger tree, at ground level, in the grass; Gadget is in the Rangermobile, driving away from the tree. ROBOTIC VOICE: I think I have what you are looking for. Gadget looks over; the shot pans to reveal the bucket.robot, gripping Zipper in its 'hand.' GADGET: [gasps] That's..that machine..I... Gadget stops the Rangermobile and gets out. The robot releases Zipper. ROBOTIC VOICE: I know. You designed this, a long time ago. In fact, this is your very prototype, one you discarded. It was a salesman trap... But I put in some modifications. I don't think you'll be able to use your knowledge of the machine to free your friends. If you can, they're free to go. The camera focuses on Gadget's determined face, then switches to a shot of Gadget and the robot. Gadget jumps at the robot with a flying kick, and hits it with a painful, metallic 'klang.' Gadget hops back on one foot, cringing. GADGET: Ow! (quietly) I didn't think kicking the bucket would hurt so much... GADGET: (shouting angrily) You let them go right now! ROBOTIC VOICE: Anger isn't helping you. Maybe there's another way, beside s violence. Remember what you love, Gadget. What's your favorite thing to do? Gadget frowns for a moment, then puts her finger on her mouth, thinking. She walks around the robot once, surveying it, and frowning all the while. Zipper tries to pry open a door in the top, but it won't open. Finally Gadget grins. GADGET: Of course! Zipper, watch the robot. If it leaves, come get me. ZIPPER: Okay Gadget. Gadget goes back up to Ranger headquarters. The shot switches to the exterior of the Ranger Tree, where lots of metal-on-metal assembly noises are heard. After several seconds, the shot switches to the ground again. Gadget walks into the shot, dragging a large launcher not unlike those used in her harpoon guns, but with a large comb as the crossbar and a spoon for the base. A rubber band is attached to the comb and stretched, ready to launch a circular blade-type item which is attached to a magnet by a long piece of string. ROBOTIC VOICE: Back so soon? Gadget releases the rubber band, launching the circular jagged blade at the robot. The magnet hits the top of the robot and sticks, and the blade travels in a circle due to the string attaching it to the magnet. It cuts through the bucket as it goes, until the whole top of the robot falls off, freeing the other Rangers. DALE: That was your robot, Gadget? GADGET: I made it way before I met you guys... Gadget goes into the robot from its top. GADGET: That's odd. CHIP: What? Switch to shot of Rangers and exterior of robot. GADGET: (through bucket, in an echo-ey, almost metallic voice) Here's the place where the person controlling the robot would sit, only, no one's in here. MONTEREY: Think it coulda been radio-controlled? GADGET: (through bucket) There's no equipment here for that... And certainly not enough for it to be operating on its own, with no intelligent assistance... The other Rangers seem uncomfortable. DALE: I don't like the thought of whoever kidnapped us being out there. Gadget exits the robot through the top, shrugging. GADGET: Whoever was controlling that robot reminded me how much I love inventing, though. I'm kinda grateful. I better lay off the fighting for a while; I guess I got a little carried away. DALE: (sarcastically) Yeah, and Fat Cat's just a LITTLE overweight! Gadget glares at Dale, who cringes and covers his head, expecting a blow. Gadget smiles. GADGET: Okay, a LOT carried away... No more fights..unless it's the last resort. MONTEREY: Good thing. Leave the fightin' to me! Switch to shot of the chipmunks. CHIP: I'm glad MY leadership helped Gadget.. DALE: What do you mean YOUR leadership? CHIP: You didn't even let me finish.. DALE: So? I didn't need to.. Switch back to Monterey. MONTEREY: And occasionally the boys. Switch back to the chipmunks, who start fighting uncontrollably. Gadget silently enters the fight cloud. When the dust clears, she's nonchalantly sitting on Dale while pinning Chip's shoulder with both feet. Monterey Jack laughs. MONTEREY: Guess your training paid off! Gadget smiles at the camera confidently. CHIP and DALE: (dreamily) What a woman... Fade out ......... Comments/suggestions are welcome at jbihn@u.arizona.edu.

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