Neon Genesis Evangelion: Vengeance

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Vengeance
Book 1- Pattern Red

Chapter 1 - Analysis: Shinji

You kept everything inside
And even though I tried,
It all fell apart
What it meant to me
Will eventually be a memory
Of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

--In The End, Linkin Park

POST-THIRD IMPACT...

On an unknown beach, much like any other beach on the dead planet, the waves of LCL, still warm with the souls of humanity, washed up against the shoreline. The air surrounding the ocean, by sharp contrast, was bitterly cold.

Not that it really mattered though. After all, there was no one there to complain about it. And the local flora and fauna didn't really hold much weight in what happened regarding the conditions of the land in which they lived. Instead of forcing the environment around them to change to suit their selfish purposes, they simply adjusted to their surroundings. And so, they would adjust to the cold or perish.

Mankind had never been content living in such a manner. He destroyed the forests to build cities; he squandered the planet's natural resources; he polluted the oceans, land, and sky. Massive, powerful weapons were created for the sole purpose of destruction and death. All this destruction was caused by the one thing that set Man apart from all other forms of life: science. Granted, science had the potential for good, but it was often used for greed and power, all in the name of progress and the pursuit of knowledge for the betterment of Mankind.

But fate has an interesting sense of irony and it was this science for the "betterment of Mankind" that eventually caused its annihilation in the form of, first, the Second Impact, and ultimately, the Third Impact. Man had killed his own creator, and God had forsaken him for it. Man had now been reduced to nothing more than a primordial soup, to spend eternity in the ocean living as the lowest of life forms.

...Or he could have.

The mother and co-creator of Man, Lilith, had, in the form of Rei Ayanami, seen the good that also existed in Man. He was petty, selfish, and capable of great evil. But, unlike any other life form, Man was capable of a great good. She had seen this good in the kindness of Shinji Ikari.

And so, Man would be given another chance to live, should he so desire. Some humans had wanted to remain in Instrumentality, where they could live in the eternal peace of self-deception. They would exist without pain. But an existence without pain comes at a heavy price. For without experiencing pain, one cannot know real joy. It had taken Shinji Ikari his whole life, and the end of the world as he had known it to realize this; to understand that simply living for the joys that only life, and no form of Instrumentality, could offer were worth all the pain and suffering that may come with it. He would continue to hurt others and be hurt by others, all for the sake of living. This was the choice that Shinji Ikari made. Little did he know, however, just how much pain the world had in store for him...

JAPAN: MAY 6, 2016...

Miles from Tokyo-3, just off a beach that was once a proud, populated city, was where it all began. Shinji Ikari had just returned from the sea of LCL and regained human form. He had appeared close enough to land that his feet could touch bottom. This was fortunate for him considering he couldn't swim. He slowly made his way back to land.

Going directly from a puddle of liquid spread out amongst the entire ocean to a solid human form has a way of leaving one's mind a little muddled. He had only waded a few feet when he came across none other than Asuka Langley Sohryu floating face down unconscious in the ocean. Without a second thought, he grabbed a hold of her from behind and began to drag her to the beach with him. She coughed and sputtered as her head came out of the water, but she remained asleep. In his foggy state of mind, he hadnt considered the tension and frustration that had built up between the two of them. He also didn't realize just how great the implications of saving Asuka's life really were.

Once reaching the beach, Shinji dragged Asuka up onto the sand and laid her down. With his mind as cloudy as it was, he hadn't even thought to check if she was breathing. Fortunately for the two of them, it just so happened that she was.

The only thoughts that were relatively clear in his mind were the final moments of Third Impact. And with that, using scraps of broken wood that seemed to line this desolate beach, he constructed a makeshift grave and nailed Misato's cross to it, using a flat plank of wood.

The task had consumed the rest of his near-depleted strength. Too tired to think of anything else, he laid down next to Asuka on the sand of this new world and fell asleep, completely unaware of what tomorrow would bring. The physical and emotional strain on the boy was just too much to deal with right now. It would probably hit him hard when the reality of his situation truly sank in, but at the moment, it was the farthest thing from his mind. He wasn't thinking about what he would do tomorrow. He wasn't concerned that it was freezing out and he was in wet clothes while Asuka was in a thin plug suit. The probability that hypothermia would set in and kill them in their sleep somehow didn't seem to matter anymore. With his fatigue, he just didn't care right then. But for Shinji Ikari and Asuka Sohryu, this was just the beginning...

ELSEWHERE ON EARTH...

Deep underground in a well-secured bunker of one of the world's most powerful countries, a time-release air lock disengaged filling the air with steam. Using technology based on the knowledge of AT Fields and the Instrumentality Program, this device had been created to assure that, in the event of failure, one person would remain on Earth and forego the Third Impact. This person would remain in a cryogenic state for a matter of months. If all had gone according to plan, he would join the others in Instrumentality. If for some reason they had failed, he would be immediately released from his cryogenic sleep and had explicit instructions to set the backup plan in motion.

Once the steel reinforced door to the contraption had opened, out stepped a young man, about 15 years of age. If he was here now, he knew something had gone wrong. Silently and without bothering to put on any clothes, he moved to a nearby computer terminal with flashing red lights on the monitor. He had precious little time to get everything in order for the backup plan.

But before he could do that, he had to find out just what had gone wrong. He flicked a few switches, pressed a few buttons, and hit a few more keys, and he began the data analysis of all that had occurred. Sure enough, the ocean was flooded with the souls of humanity, the Egg of Lilith was no longer in existence, and there was at least one person other than himself who had returned to human form. Decades of work, money, and sacrifice had gone into assuring the original plan had worked. All of that was ruined now, and he had to learn why in order to deal with the problem and assure that it wouldn't occur again in the future. The facility was self-sufficient and the back up plan was primarily automated due to the failsafe programs installed in the supercomputer. But there was still a lot of legwork that he had to do. Aside from probably years of several pain-staking procedures that now had to be endured to get them back on track, he was to find the original problem and rectify it by any means necessary.

JAPAN...

It had been a bad day. A really bad day. For starters, Shinji Ikari had already been in the center of the Third Impact. And considering that for the past several hours he hadnt seen the remotest sign of human life, with the exception of Asuka sitting several feet away from him, he could only assume that he had somehow blown it. Big time. The fact that the ocean was now blood red with the LCL of billions of people only confirmed this. He looked up towards the night sky to see a red streak stretched across it. When Lilith had released Shinji from his bond with her, her neck split open spraying her blood into the heavens. He figured that the blood that had sprayed too far away from the earth to be pulled in by its gravity had settled there instead of falling into the sea like all the LCL of human souls that were released from the Egg of Lilith. Now, not only was mankind not returned with him, they werent even reunited with Lilith; they were swimming with the fishes in the sea of this now God-forsaken planet. Yes, somehow, hed screwed up big time. And the end of mankind as they knew it, was just the tip of the iceberg.

He and Asuka had been sitting against this rock face on the beach they had woken up on for hours. Neither had said a word since the incident that had taken place shortly after they had awoken. Both shivered uncontrollably, not entirely due to the freezing weather, with their knees tucked up to their chests. Yet neither took any initiative to move closer together or start a fire.

THREE HOURS AGO...

After the end of the attempt at Human Instrumentality, the Third Impact, Shinji rose from the sea of LCL and found himself on this desolate beach alone with Asuka after dragging her to shore. By all rights, the girl should have been dead. Hed heard her every scream and cry of pain as the Mass Production Evas of SEELE had ripped Unit 02 to pieces. Hed seen her once proud Evangelion reduced to nothing more than a mass of shredded metal and gore. Yet, here she was, alive and in one piece. Granted, she had bandages wrapped over her left eye and right arm, but she was, nevertheless, alive.

A sudden anger stirred within him. There was no one else around. Were they the only survivors? Was he to live out the rest of his existence alone with her?! Ayanami had placed the fate of mankind in his hands. He had chosen not to accept Instrumentality. He decided despite the pain of being hurt by others, he and mankind would live on.but when he made that decision, this wasnt what he had in mind

Shed made his life miserable at every possible opportunity! No matter what he did, it was never good enough for her! When he tried to be kind to her, she would make him regret it every time. When he had poured his heart out to her, she threw it back in his face He had all but told her that he loved her, and she called him a liar and flat-out rejected himthe bitch Who the hell did she think she was?! So he wasnt perfect! Big deal! She wasnt exactly a picnic herself! She had no right! She had made his life a living hell! And here she was! The only other human being on the face of the earth! Wearing bandages exactly like those that he had seen Rei in when he first met her!

In reality, it was probably just a coincidence. But in his mind, the bandages were all part of a cruel joke played on him by Rei, who had merged with Lilith and was now the mother of all mankind. He saw Reis image floating on the water behind Asuka. It was as if Rei had gift wrapped the very person who had caused him the most suffering in those bandages so that he could forever be tormented by her! Why?! What had he ever done to her to deserve this?! Was this his reward for choosing life?! For someone who rarely showed any emotion, the First Child had a sick sense of humor!

He became furious! He sat himself up and straddled Asukas waist. He placed his hands around her throat and began to squeeze for all he was worth, pressing his thumbs into the front of her neck to assure her air supply was cut off. Hed show Ayanami what he thought of her gift! Hed make sure this damn bitch stayed dead this time! Asuka, Rei, and everyone else could just go to Hell for putting him in this position! He could feel the life in her body fading away, this time for good

Suddenlyhe felt something warm and soft touch his cheek, a sharp contrast to the bitter cold air He froze instantly. He saw her hand had reached up to caress his face. It started at the top of his head, in his hair. Then slowly and gently slid down past his ear, her thumb brushing lightly against the corner of his mouth, towards the bottom of his jaw, leaving a trail of warmth on his face.

It hit him. It hit him all at once. With just the simple touch of her hand, reality was pounded back into his mind like a sledgehammer. What the hell was he doing? He was choking the life out of the girl that he had thought he was in love with and a short while ago had wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And for what? Because she had turned him down? Had he completely lost his mind?! Here he was, seconds away from murdering an innocent girl for rejecting him! What kind of monster was he? Coupled with the fact that, as far as he was concerned, hed destroyed the rest of mankind, and had been the cause of the deaths of Misato and Kaworu, it was more than his nerves could handle. He began to cry. Hed picked one hell of a time to regain the joys of sanity

His grasp on her throat slackened and the color returned to her face as the blood and air was able to circulate to and from her head. Her hand finally slid off his face and back to her side. As he wept and the tears spilled onto her face, she never moved. Just laid there staring off into the sky as if in a trance. After a moment, she shifted her eyes to the crying boy that was straddling her waist. Finally, she found her voice to whisper something.

I feel sick.

But nothing more would be said for several hours

After Shinji had calmed down and Asuka had gained her bearings, they eventually managed to stand and make it over towards the rock. Asuka didnt look like she was in any condition to be walking around due to the obvious pain she was in from her injuries, but Shinji decided itd be best for him not to touch her. He was too disgusted with himself to go near her or even talk to her. After all hed done to the girl, he wouldnt be surprised if she tried to kill him for so much as looking at her. Still, she managed to make it to the rock to sit herself up. Shinji sat down and leaned against the rock several feet away from her, afraid to get too close.

Shinji shyly chanced a peek in Asukas direction for a moment. She was shivering even worse than he was. Of course, considering she was wearing only her thin plug suit, whose life support system batteries didnt seem to be functioning, it was no real surprise to him. He briefly wondered what was making it so cold as after the Second Impact the climate in Japan had been summer all year round. He quickly pushed that out of his mind since he had more important things to worry about at moment.

He sighed and looked away from Asuka. What else could he do? He couldnt just go over there and offer her his overshirt, shed never accept that.not from him. He certainly couldnt sit by her and try to warm her with his own body heat. Noeven if she DIDNT kill him on the spot for it, he had deemed himself too much of a filthy monster to even touch her.

Instead, he clenched his fists as he pulled his knees closer, as he mentally scolded himself. What had he been thinking? He was deceptive, selfish, a wimp, and a coward. She had been fighting SEELEs Evas nine to one while he sat on his ass and listened to her get slaughtered, feeling sorry for himself. Hed..God...Hed violated her! As far as he was concerned, he was no better than a rapist. What have I done? he whispered as he drew even further into himself.

Why should she have accepted him? It would have been foolish to trust him at that point. In truth, hed only approached her during the Third Impact out of desperation, because he didnt want to be alone. That wasnt love. At present, he was unsure as to exactly what his feelings for Asuka were, but hed have to sort that out later.

Besides, after all she had gone through, this was the last thing she needed to deal with. To throw himself at her like that had been inconsiderate and insensitive.

And then he strangled her for it

With the way he was feeling at this point, all he wanted to do was to sit against that rock until he froze and died, but as he looked at her again, though it was a little hard to see her clearly in the dim moonlight, he could tell that her shivering had increased and her lips had started to turn blue. He suddenly felt as if he had a responsibility toward this girl. He didnt know how he could redeem himself for the things hed done to her, but letting her freeze to death in a plug suit because he wanted to feel sorry for himself wasnt a step in the right direction.

Despite himself, using what will power he could muster, he forced himself to stand and move towards the shivering girl. Every fiber of his mind's defenses told him to run away and save himself further anguish and humiliation, still he pressed on.

AAsuka he managed to say though he found his mouth was quite unwilling to speak. She didnt even look up at him.

Sh-Shinji, j-just s-stay away from m-me! she hissed though chattering teeth. Shinji wasnt too surprised at this response, but it still stuck another knife in his resolve not to run away.

Asuka, please! Youre going to freeze to death! he pleaded.

W-what the hell do you c-care! she countered, her voice full of resentment and pain.

This wasnt going well. He opened his mouth to say something to convince her that he did indeed care, when he realized that she probably wouldnt believe anything he told her at this point. He was about to give up when an idea popped into his head.

Though Asukas head was still resting on her knees and her eyes lowered to the ground so she couldnt see his face, she could still see his feet. So she was a little surprised to see that pair of feet dash off away from her. She wondered if he was ditching her and leaving her all aloneagain.

These thoughts came to a halt, at least for now, as she heard him dragging something towards her. At this point, her curiosity beat out her bitterness and she finally raised her head to see what he was doing. She watched him with a curious expression as he dropped a large, dried out piece of driftwood a few feet in front of her. However, he didnt stop to notice the expression because as soon as he had dropped the wood, he took off to grab another one. He did this until he had built up a substantial pile of driftwood, cardboard, broken planks of wood, and sticks in front of the near-hypothermic redhead.

Shinji was breathing somewhat heavily as he kneeled down by the pile of driftwood, his breath visible in the cold air. He gathered a small pile of leaves and a balled up newspaper hed found and set them on top one of the drier pieces of wood. He then found a long pointed stick in the pile and used it in attempt to start a fire boy scout style. Hed never actually done this before, only seen Kensuke do it a time or two, so he hoped he was doing it right.

By this point Asuka had figured out what he was trying to do and was watching him carefully. Though she wasnt about to tell him, she was secretly hoping he would succeed. It wasnt like she actually enjoyed being cold, after all.

She watched him as he worked the stick between his hands with a determined look on his face that she seldom saw outside of Eva. He continued to work it for about 15 minutes and both were beginning to have their doubts. Shinjis arms were beginning to get tired, his hands were beginning to chafe from the friction of repeatedly rubbing against the stick, not to mention that the cold was beginning to really get to him, and he was about ready to give up when saw gray smoke starting to come from the pile of leaves and newspaper.

Even Asuka, who was trying her best to look like she had no interest in what he was doing, allowed herself to blink in surprise. Shinjis enthusiasm was renewed and he started to rub the stick between his hands into the wood faster and harder than before. Both their eyes went wide as they heard a crackling sound coming from the pile.

Shinji couldnt contain his excitement. Yeah!! he yelled as he saw a flame begin to flicker in the leaves. It quickly spread throughout the leaves and paper starting a fire.

Asuka felt a smile threatening to spread to her lips despite the fact that she physically and emotionally felt like shit. She quickly suppressed that smile and wiped her face back to its original blank expression before Shinji could notice.

Shinji carefully lifted the piece of wood the pile of leaves were set on and moved it to the bottom of the pile of wood so the flames could run up and the rest of the pile could catch fire. Within a few short minutes, they had a good-sized fire going. Shinji placed his hands over it so they could thaw out.

Shinji, under the circumstances was in a great mood and turned to face Asuka. Asuka! Weve got a fire! he shouted, not bothering to hide his joy.

Asukas response was less than enthused however. HoorayThe Invincible Shinji saves us again She said in an annoyed tone, the sarcasm dripping in her voice at the mention of the Invincible Shinji. She moved her head back between her knees. This knocked Shinji out of his good mood and put him back into a state of depression. In his enthusiasm, he had forgotten that this one little act wasnt about to redeem him for all hed done. He sat down by the fire wondering what his next move should be.

Asuka, he said quietly, after a moment of silence arent you going to sit by the fire? Asuka was still sitting several feet from the fire, not nearly close enough to ward off the cold that was in the air.

I t-told you to leave m-me alone! she snapped at him, quickly raising her head to face him with a fierce expression.

Butyoure going to catch hypothermia if you dont he said in a quiet, concerned tone.

Im j-just f-f-fine! I dont need youre help! she practically screamed at him, her anger rising. As fate would have it, she picked that moment to sneeze, serving to upset her further as her own body was calling her bluff to Shinji.

Shinji was about to offer her a Bless you but decided that it would likely result in her throwing him in the fire. Instead, he tried something else. He began to unbutton his over shirt and took it off, cringing slightly as the cold air assailed his back, which was now only covered by his thin, black undershirt.

Asuka suspected he was going to try to offer the shirt to her, and lashed out again, desperately clinging to her emotional defenses. And I d-dont want your shirt either! I dont need your damn s-sympathy! she shouted again through her chattering teeth. Shinjis response surprised her.

I wasnt about to. Im pretty warm from the fire, so Im just taking off my shirt while I get some sleep, he stated matter-of-factly. Of course he was lying. He was still freezing his ass off, but he would survive. And that was more than he could say about Asuka at the moment. Shinji then shrugged his shoulders and started to lay down in an attempt to act cool and calm while he casually added But you can use if you want, I guess. Shinji laid as still as possible and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep, hoping she would take the bait and either move towards the fire or take the shirt.

Asuka said nothing to Shinji after his last comment. She just sat still for the next half an hour watching him while he slept. As it got colder, she started to glance at the fire anxiously as she continued to shiver. She started to rock back and forth in indecision. Suddenly she sneezed again and her stubborn will cracked. Shinji wasnt worth dying over and if he hadnt been there, she would have built a fire on her own or found shelter anyway. Or at least thats what she told herself.

Slowly, she moved towards the fire, feeling its warmth immediately begin to force out the cold. As she sat next to the fire, she looked over at Shinjis over shirt on the ground. Hesitantly, she reached out for it. Finally, she just grabbed it and wrapped it around her shoulders.

She clutched her knees to her chest as she rocked back and forth again staring into the fire. She could smell Shinjis scent in the shirt. His deodorant. A bit of salt from the beach and smoke from the fire. But under that, his own natural scent. Under the circumstanceshe smelled nice

That line of thought survived about half a second before Asukas defenses sounded the alarm, snapping her out of he thoughtful trance. Stupid jerk she muttered under her breath just to make sure shed put Shinji back at a safe distance. She rocked herself in silence, still clutching the shirt around her shoulders until she felt sufficiently thawed out and hand regained the feeling in her hands and face. Then she laid down on her side in the sand. It wasnt exactly cozy but it would be enough to keep her alive another day, and that was the important thing. She closed her eyes, and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

A smile crept across Shinjis face