Round Perdition's Flames

 

Part IX

 

"We came, we came, we came again

To stem the tide and point the blame

Came back for more

Came back to see what you had in store

Everyone join along......

Everyone.......

So you wanna spin the world around?

So you wanna spin the world around and everybody else can come around?

So you wanna big catstrophe?

Won't you send it right over to me?

I've got some time

Everybody run and hide."

                        --Gomez

                        "We Haven't Turned Around"

 

            Seeing Asuka dressed in black immediately filled Shinji with a sense of dread. The little tiff they had shared just before leaving hadn't helped, to be certain. Asuka's choice of outfit intimidated him, to say the least, and he consciously inched away from her in the back seat of Misato's car. This was going to be a night to remember, but each minute increased Shinji's doubts that he would look back on the evening with fondness. It was likely to be an arena for his own personal embarrassment.

            Love was most definitely in the air, and Shinji knew it was going to be painful. He wanted Asuka. Asuka wanted Kaji. Kaji wanted Misato. Misato wanted Kaji but was never going to say anything about it. And now, they were all sharing dinner together. Except now there would be a few extra faces to exacerbate the situation. Dr. Akagi was going to be there, and Shinji knew how she would tease Misato endlessly about Kaji. Meanwhile, Kaji would likely flirt ceaselessly with Akagi, making the Major all the more jealous. Asuka would get jealous and attempt to stymie Kaji's flirtations. "And all I get to do is sit back and watch a disaster waiting-to-happen unfold." Shinji whispered.

            Oh, great. Now he was having second thoughts. Thirds, fourths, and fifths soon followed. Shinji stole a quick glance at Asuka. His eyes found the girl looking intently out the window, an incredibly serious expression on her face. Asuka was most definitely up to something, and Shinji knew without a doubt that he didn't want to find himself on the wrong side of whatever her scheme was.

 

 

Asuka's  thoughts were all but readable. Fortunately,  the car was traveling at Misato's standard breakneck speed, and those thoughts remained a mystery to any passers-by. Not that anyone could possibly pass Misato. *What an idiot! It's not enough that he throws my fashion coordination off, now he's got to brood in the corner. I swear, his negative energy is really making me sick! Anyone else in his position would be gleaming! Here I am, the most beautiful girl in this whole stupid city! Any of those losers back at school would jump at the chance to take me to dinner! Oh, yeah, I forgot. Shinji's twice as big an idiot as anyone of the others, save maybe those other two stooges he hangs out with. He should feel privileged and honored. I've even been nice to the cretin lately! Well, if he wants to act like a child, fine! I'm not going to let that ruin my evening. I've got bigger fish to fry. Scrumptious, Kaji-flavored fish.* Asuka grinned mischievously and began calculating her plan of attack.

 

 

Misato's head ached uncontrollably as she sped erratically towards the quasi-romantic rendezvous of the evening. She saw the face of the forlorn Third Child behind her, and the increasingly happier expressions of the Second Child across from him. *There is no God.* She quietly mused, then proceeded to give the gas pedal a stronger workout than usual.

 

 

The clouds of Shinji's gloominess began to recede as he eyed the party awaiting them on the cushions in the foyer. Kaji was dressed in his usual manner, his wrinkled shirt and crooked tie giving him an overworked look. When combined with his usual stubble, a person who didn't know him would be confused as to whether he was overly dedicated to his job or just completely unconcerned with appearances.

Ritsuko Akagi was sitting across from him in modest evening wear. Shinji had to blink; he could only recall one other circumstance that he had seen her in anything but her traditional lab coat. She was dressed in black, like Asuka, but Shinji quickly noticed that there were vast differences. While the dress certainly made Ritsuko look pretty, it was in no way designed to draw attention to her. There was nothing tantalizing, nothing to encourage the eyes. Asuka was probably muttering under her breath over the color, yet in the end, Shinji seriously doubted that she would have to worry about "competition" from Dr. Akagi.

But it was Rei who drew Shinji's attention. Rei, who he hadn't even expected to be here. Rei was dressed in her usual school uniform, with this tinge of…was that embarrassment on her face? No, that couldn't be right. Rei was definitely not a "people" person, for that matter, neither was he, but she by no means had anything to be embarrassed about. Perhaps Kaji and Ritsuko were engaging in conversation that Rei found uncomfortable? Perhaps she just felt embarrassed about being around so many people? "Perhaps I should go over with everyone else and find out." Shinji muttered under his breath, just as Asuka began to show off her vocal prowess.

            "KAJI!" She exclaimed, running the rest of the short distance and wrapping her arms around his neck in an embrace. Ritsuko covered her mouth and giggled to herself, while Kaji rolled his eyes at her.

            "Hello, Asuka." He greeted the girl with as little enthusiasm as he could get away with. "My, don't you look lovely this evening."

            Asuka practically swooned as Misato and Shinji joined the crowd. He noticed! Kaji blinked twice at Shinji, then darted his eyes over his shoulder; where Asuka's head was now shamelessly tucked, in an effort to prolong the hug as long as possible.

            Shinji observed the signal he was getting from Kaji and quickly did what any self-respecting male does with a signal--miss it entirely. He instead took a sudden interest in the floral arrangements set up beside the benches, inadvertently abandoning Kaji to his fate.

            "I'm glad you like it." Asuka smiled. "It's high time I started dressing for success." Somehow, Kaji got the feeling that there was a double-meaning to her words, and he wasn't exactly sure he liked that.

            Misato rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. "Perhaps we should see about our table?" She suggested.

            "Please." Kaji insisted, untangling himself from the grip of Asuka. He half-heartedly straightened his jacket, but soon found Asuka trying to hook his arm with hers. Deciding that he was going to have to call out the weaponry, Kaji unhooked himself, telling Asuka that she was going to make her boyfriend jealous. The comment had the desired effect, and Shinji quickly found himself on the receiving side of an Asuka rant, being berated for something he wasn't aware he had done. Shinji took the time to try and remember what it was he desired about Asuka. At the moment, he couldn't recall.

            Rei observed their interaction, and remarked to herself the curious nature of male/female relationships, even where "love" was not involved. Humans were curious creatures, and she noted that her situation gave her a unique perspective on others. She had always been set apart. She knew that she was not "normal," if a proper connotation of that word even existed. But she still struggled with the concept of what "normal" was. People felt compelled to keep her at a distance, yet she felt the same way, and often held herself apart from others. She went through life on a fixed track, following the plan that was laid out for her. It was an existence she imagined people like the colorful Pilot Sohryu would find irritating, to say the least. But someone like Sohryu could never understand. The two of them were from completely different worlds. This was not necessarily a bad thing. The dynamics of how people interacted still escaped her. How did two mismatched personalities such as Pilot Ikari and Pilot Sohryu share a living quarters? From her observations, it was clear to her that Major Katsuragi was not present often enough to prevent altercations. Pilot Sohryu was a very dominating individual, but the Commander's son was not completely submissive. When motivated, he acted on his feelings. He had done so with her, more than once. She fondly recalled the time when they faced Ramiel. She had somehow saddened Ikari with her words before they had gone into battle. She still did not understand, but she remembered that he had wept over her. It was…she could not call up an adjective that seemed fitting to the experience. To see her teammate go from a state of calm reflection, to grim determination, and then to begin crying…truly, the commander's son was a very special kind of person.

            What was, perhaps, most difficult of all, was that there was a quality about Shinji that caused her heart to go out to him; or at least, she guessed that was what the feeling was. It was an altogether new sensation. Every so often, when she was alone, she would dwell on the matter. She had digested several books on romance during her education, but none of it felt right. She did not want to hold Ikari in a sexual manner, but she perceived that her feelings were more than platonic.

            If there was one thing Rei wanted to improve about herself, it was her emotional perception. People often mistook her for lacking emotion, a belief that was completely untrue. On the contrary, Rei was greatly troubled by her own feelings. She did not seem to have control and understanding over them. When they surfaced, it would frequently be an intense experience, often occurring at a most inappropriate time. She recalled how she had once slapped Pilot Ikari for expressing his reservations about the Commander. She had not been able to help herself at the moment. It was as though a sum of all the respect and fondness she felt for the Commander had taken control of her body.

            Rei was snapped out of her daydream as she was escorted into her seat by Misato, who had already seated "The Bickersons," as the Major occasionally referred to them as.

Kaji and Misato sat across Rei and Ristuko, respectively, with Shinji and Asuka staring each other down across the table. Asuka didn't take long to defeat her roommate, however, and it wasn't long before she was once again gazing upon the magnificence that is Kaji.

 

 

            Shinji was bored. It wasn't a feeling he was accustomed to. Usually, he was perfectly content to immerse himself in his thoughts or his SDAT if no other distractions were present. But his player was at home, and his own thoughts left him little solace at the moment. A quick glance at Rei revealed that she was going to be her usual, gregarious self. Asuka, on the other hand, was hanging on the edge of the conversation the "adults" were having, trying to interject something so that she would be noticed. Occasionally, she succeeded, but Shinji couldn't help but notice that the overall effect gave her the appearance of hovering like a waif. And so, fully knowing that he would quickly regret it, Shinji placed one of the sugar packets he had been fingering upright on the table, and flung it in Asuka's general direction.

            The projectile went wide, flying through the hair to the left side of Asuka's head. There was something satisfying about it, Shinji noticed. Perhaps it was because even though Asuka was probably going to kill him, he had, at least, managed to attract her attention in a manner even she had to respect. For once, he was direct.

            "Did you lose something, Shinji?" Asuka asked him sarcastically. Her voice was rather calm, for her, but Shinji could see there was a quiet fury behind her eyes. It was strange to see Asuka holding herself in check, but he quickly realized that it was because she was out with Kaji. She wouldn't make a scene here, or she would look bad in front of him.

            "Not really, Asuka. I just wanted to get your attention."

            "Uh-huh. And which stooge, pray tell, was the one who imparted unto you the infinite wisdom of grabbing female attention through the art of hurling objects at them?"

            Shinji had to go over what Asuka had said three times, and he still wasn't completely sure he got it. He looked up at her with a puzzled expression. Asuka sighed, then tried a more simple tactic. "Which of your goony friends told you winging sugar packets at girls' heads was a good way to make us notice you?!"

            "Er, I'm not sure. Was it Toji?"

            Shinji could not, of course, tell Asuka about what Toji and Kensuke had been trying to tell him about girls. Not that they seemed to know much anyway. They were quite hung up on female anatomy, but it hadn't taken long for Shinji to realize that for all their knowledge of the female body, they had no idea how to properly treat and woo a girl so that they would even have access to said areas.

            "I just...wanted to talk to you Asuka."

            "Fine, we're talking. Are you happy?"

            "Yeah, I guess so. I've just been trying to get a better idea of who you are, since we've been living together for awhile now. But...I don't really know all that much about you Asuka."

            Asuka snorted. "There's not much to tell! You've seen me in action. And I prefer to let my actions speak for me. You don't get to be the top pilot by talking, you get it through action. Hard work. Determination."

            Shinji found he wasn't going to be getting any kind of answer he was looking for out of his roommate. He also had the distinct impression that she had just managed to completely avoid his question without appearing to do so.

            "What about yourself?" Asuka asked.

            "What about me?" Shinji inquired.

            "Yeah. You're the mysterious Third Child who came out of nowhere and synched with his Eva for the first time with no prior training."

            "Hey, it wasn't anything all that special. I didn't even want to do it! They just forced me to."

            Asuka sighed. "C'mon, Shinji! You're the son of Commander Ikari! So tell me, what's he like, really?"

            "My f-father?"

            "Of course! What are you, stupid?!"

            "N-no! Of course not! It's just...my father...the way he is at work.......?"

            "Yeah?"

            "That's the way he is everywhere."

            Asuka let out an audible gulp. "Oh."

            "Yeah."

            What was passing for pleasant conversation was sadly interrupted by the waiter, who placed a small menu in view of the children. "Would you care for an appetizer?" He asked with a slightly arrogant voice. Shinji didn't like the looks of the guy. He was a bit gawky, with legs too long, a beard that reminded him of his father, and a nose that Toji would've said needed punching.

            Asuka's eyes briefly passed over the selections before she pushed the menu away. "I already have an appetite, thanks. But I suppose you can bring me a small salad if you have one." She waved him off with a flick of her wrist.

            "And you sir?" asked the waiter, clearly unhappy with the way the redhead was treating him.

            "The same." Shinji smiled, handing the menu back to the waiter.

            "Dressing?"

            "Ranch." Asuka stated curtly.

            Their waiter looked at Shinji, a smirk on his face. "Let me guess, the same?"

            "Yes." Shinji responded. The waiter made a quick note on his pad and began making his way to the other end of the table.

            "I didn't know you liked ranch." Asuka was impressed.

            "Actually, I've never tried it. But you seem to have good taste when it comes to food."

            Now it was Asuka's turn to smirk. "Shinji, you haven't seen anything yet."

 

 

            Rei couldn't help but notice that this was a very new sensation indeed. Something was rubbing up against her leg. Seemingly on purpose. She glanced at Major Katsuragi, who sat beside her. No, it could not be her. She was engaged too deeply in a conversation with Mr. Kaji. Besides, the angle was wrong. That left...Rei's eyes darted across the table to see that of Agent Kaji Ryoji. He raised his eyebrows at her, and Rei then felt his foot begin to travel up her leg.

            In that moment, Rei Ayanami felt very hot, and it showed. Her face began to flush red, and she tried to turn away from the others. *Does Mr. Kaji have...feelings...for me?* Rei wondered. She had never felt embarrassment of this nature before. It was not a feeling that was familiar to her, but it still didn't take her very long to decide she wasn't very fond of the sensation. It was little wonder to her why the more outspoken Second Child would become nearly unbearable if embarrassed. Another mystery solved. Yet she still felt uneasy. Rei reached for her glass of water to help ease the heat sensation that accompanied this feeling. The intensity of her own emotions bothered her at times. She silently wished that someone could understand. But there was no one that she could share her thoughts with. No one could understand. The only person who could see things from her frame of reference was herself.

 

 

 

The salad turned out to be one of the more interesting eating experiences that Shinji could recall. It had been a long time indeed since he'd eaten a deluxe salad like the waiter had placed in front of him. A blended iceberg/romaine base, with cucumbers, tomatoes, mushrooms, carrots, broccoli, olives, and a bit of shredded cheese. Shinji could've sworn that he and Asuka had ordered small salads. Apparently the chef here took his cues from American fast food restaurants, where the smallest size on the menu would only leave Toji hungry.

Asuka seemed not to notice. She just poured a rather generous amount of ranch dressing from the boat onto her salad and happily munched away. It was only now that Shinji realized how self-conscious having dinner with Miss Sohryu was making him feel. What if he accidentally grabbed the wrong fork? Was she going to be silently judging him as he ate? Perhaps, but he tried to remind himself that she had pretty much already made up her mind about him. Of course, screwing up here meant that he would only validate her low opinion of him. Doing things right this evening, on the other hand, might actually score him a point or two. He suddenly felt as though all the insidious powers of teenage male insecurity were working on him at once.

With much effort, Shinji took hold of the boat and poured a significantly smaller amount of ranch dressing onto his salad, then began eating. His faith had not been misplaced—he soon found he had quite a liking for ranch dressing. It gave the salad a nice little zip without seeming unnatural. Maybe it was the onion?

Asuka glanced in his direction, sighed, and laid her fork to rest beside her bowl. "Shinji, it's ranch dressing."        

"Yeah, you told me."

"It's not wine."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You should see yourself?! You're eating it painfully so, wearing this expression like your analyzing each bite. Tell me, do you ever do anything normal? Next thing, I'll find out your one of those horrible people that puts one sock and one shoe on, instead of both socks then both shoes."

"That's not true."

"So there is something normal about you after all?!"

"Look, I'm sorry we're not the most compatible people. I know it must be very difficult for you to have to live with someone like me. But do we have to fight all the time?"

"Of course! This is about territoriality! As the best pilot, I should be entitled to the kind of living conditions I want."

"Conditions that don't include me?"

Asuka sighed. "Look, truth be told, you have your uses. I'll kill you if I hear this from anyone else, but NERV does need you around. I may be the only pilot they need in most situations, but at times backup is necessary. Like when we fought the 10^th Angel. I made the kill, but you and Wondergirl had to help catch it."

"Are you admitting you needed help?"

"Hold on a minute! I said no such thing. It wasn't me who needed the help, it was Unit-02! An Eva isn't strong enough to repel that much mass, you know that! It took 3 of our AT fields to slow it down enough to set up a killing blow. Which I made, thank you very much."

"Hmm."

"And there was that 7^th Angel. I may be the best, but I can't be in two places at once. So I needed your help there. Of course, that still doesn't excuse the way you broke the form and made us fall all over each other at the end. Besides, I'd much rather have you backing me up than Wondergirl."

Shinji sighed. "Thanks. Coming from you, that's a compliment."

Asuka grimaced. "I meant what I said, you know."

"What, that I have a purpose?"

"No. That if I find out you've told anyone I said that, I –will- kill you." Asuka then picked up her fork and began devouring her salad again, grinning evilly at Shinji all the while.

 

 

            Gendo Ikari had decided not to return to his room for dinner. Rei would not be coming to join him, so he saw little reason to waste the night. He had half considered paging Dr. Akagi to his office, before remembering that she was with the others, like Rei. Things must be getting tense indeed if Akagi was taking a night off for strictly pleasure. But Gendo grudgingly admitted that she had earned it. The Dummy System was coming along nicely, nearly two percent ahead of schedule. His own plans were falling into place so far, but it was frustrating that he was always having to make minor alterations to them, usually because the Old Men were so paranoid. They were truly insufferable. Perhaps it was because men were naturally stubborn. Oftentimes, they need a woman to show them the right way. Yui had been so kind as to do that for him. It was no mistake that women held some of his most key positions. Ritsuko Akagi had done more for the Eva Project than anyone else could claim. And Misato Katsuragi was a very capable Chief of Operations, although no one would suspect it if they encountered her outside of NERV. Of course, they were not chosen solely for their abilities, or even their last names. Women are, after all, easier to control. And control was vital to his success. There are those that would consider him wrong, but they were not capable of understanding. His way was truly the best way. He was not so selfish as to do everything solely for his own benefit. Yui was his motivation, his reason to continue existing. But his Third Impact would serve not only to reunite him with Yui, but to be the best choice for humanity. But to accomplish all of this, a very rigid plan had to be followed. Even his own son, Shinji, would not be able to understand. A pity, but he was not here to make friends or atone for his shortcomings. There would be time to make things up to his son after Third Impact. But for the time being, he had to keep his project moving ever forward.

 

 

            Ritsuko sighed. "Give it up, Misato. Just admit it, you've never been in a relationship that didn't use sex as the primary bond."

            Misato spluttered on her wine as Kaji came to her defense. "Now, now, that isn't necessarily true."

            "Please don't tell me you're going to use your past relationship with her as an exception."

            "Perhaps. Perhaps not. I don't deny that we had an extremely healthy sexual appetite back in those days, but there was more to us than getting naked. If that weren't the case, then we wouldn't have lasted for as long as we did. You of all people should know that perception is not reality."

            "Look, I'm not trying to pick Misato apart. I don't pretend to be an expert on relationships. Both of you are by far my superiors on that playing field. All I meant was that sex just isn't all that big a deal anymore."

            "Maybe not, but it should be. I don't know if I could ever make love to a woman I didn't have feelings for."

            "Oh?" both Misato and Ritsuko inquired at the same time

            "If I'm going to engage in the act, I don't want it to be a lie. While it is true that sex is a very pleasurable, physical act, it is our thoughts and emotions that make it all the more erotic and. . .shall we say, enjoyable?

            "Well, Kaji, if that's true, perhaps I've been a fool to reject your advances over all this time." Akagi smirked as steam began to rise from the Major's ears.

            Misato snorted. "Please! If you want this jerk, he's all yours!"

            "Oh, I don't know about that, Misato. He's rather fixated on you."

            "Believe me, he isn't picky. Not so long as you're breathing and carry the X chromosome."

            "That's hardly far." Kaji rebutted.

            "It's hardly untrue, you mean."

            "Katsuragi, you are the only girl I've ever been serious about."

            "Sorry, I'm not buying today. Take it somewhere else." She gave him a snoot for emphasis. Frustrated, he turned to Rei.

            "What about you, Rei? Don't you think the Major is overstepping her bounds just a bit? I suppose I'll just have to share my gentleman's attitude with you."

            Rei's cheeks flushed and she subconsciously pushed further back into her seat.

            Misato snorted. "I wouldn't stand for that if I were you, Rei. Kaji's idea of being gentlemanly is as twisted as it comes."

            "How so?!" Kaji demanded.

            "Oh, I haven't forgotten that time Ritsuko and I were skinny dipping and you came by and sat on our swimsuits."

            "What?! I was doing the chivalrous thing by preventing anyone from coming up and stealing them! You can't be too careful, you know."

            "Do we really have to have this discussion?" Ritsuko groaned.

            "I don't believe this!" Asuka yelled, her interest having been thoroughly piqued by the heated discussion the adults were having. "Kaji, it's not really true, is it? You wouldn't do a thing like that to someone?"

            "Like you're so innocent?" Misato laughed. "I haven't forgotten that third week you were here when you snuck into the men's locker room and stole Shinji's pants and towel while he was in the shower!"

            "I still haven't completely forgiven you for it either." Shinji mumbled, just loud enough so that Asuka was able to hear the gist of it.

            "It was so precious!" Misato crooned. "Shinji comes slinking out against the wall with a couple of washcloths covering his unmentionables! Asuka had already left with his pants, so I had to get him a spare plug suit to wear home."

            Shinji turned quite red and tried to disappear underneath the table.

            "Yeah, well, as I recall you made me do all his chores for a week because of that little joke?!" Asuka countered. "I don't see what the big deal was. It was the perfect practical joke—clean, efficient, and deadly. And nobody was hurt. Even Shinji admits it was funny, right?"

            Shinji sighed and nodded his agreement. Much as he would've liked to take advantage of the chance to repay Asuka for the embarrassment, he knew it wouldn't score him any points with her. Going along with her, on the other hand, would. But it didn't mean he had to like it.

            Rei was considering retelling the time Ikari had visited her apartment and managed to fall on top of her after she was just emerging from the shower, but then she thought better of it. Such a story might cause too large of a reaction out of the others, particularly Pilot Sohryu, who never did anything quietly, it seemed. Besides, she didn't want to explain what it was about the Commander's glasses that was so important to her. She wasn't entirely certain herself, and she knew that she would not be able to make the others understand. So as usual, she sat quietly, and observed. Had Agent Kaji just attempted to make another romantic overture towards her? No, that couldn't be. Could it? She could not be certain. Best to bide her time. There was no need to fuel an uncomfortable situation. If confronted by him, then she would politely turn him down. It was as simple as that.

             It wasn't long before the conversation degenerated into everyone trying to shout their points out at once. Shinji and Rei were the only two real hold-outs. Rei said nothing, while Shinji would occasionally try in vain to get the attention of one of the others, only to be drowned out (often by Asuka). Rei turned to gaze out the window at the people walking through the night streets, silently praying an apology to the waiter for getting saddled with the most difficult patrons in all of Tokyo-3.