Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers "A Matter of Life and Death" Written by Michael Gibby Characters herein are © Walt Disney corporation. Distribute freely, but do not modify. (Scene opens on the runway in front of Ranger Headquarters. Gadget is building a new airplane from a kit. It looks impressive, but dangerous.) Gadget : There. All set for the first test run. (Gadget gets into the plane.) Gadget : Clear the runway! Chip : Wait a minute. Don't you think you should make sure it's safe? Remember what happened with the Ranger- Mobile. Monty : Yeah, everything fell off just when we needed it. Brakes, wheels,... Gadget : I get the idea. Don't worry. If anything goes wrong, there's a tracking device and a radio in my workshop. If you hear anything, you'll know just where to find me. (Gadget picks up some screws from the floor.) Gadget : I hate it when there's parts left over. Chip : Now I know you shouldn't go. At least not until you find out where those screws go. Gadget : The best way to find out is to test it to it's limits. I'll see you later. (Gadget takes off in the plane.) Dale : Yeah, at your funeral. (Scene changes back and forth from the cockpit of the new plane and Gadget's workshop.) Gadget : I told you there was nothing to worry about. Those were just some extra screws that come in case you need replacement parts. Chip : I still think you should turn around and come back. The instruction book says not to fly at top speed during the first flight. You'll lose steering control. Gadget : That's just for inexperienced pilots. I'm sure that... (A red light starts flashing on the instrument panel.) Gadget : Uh-oh. I've lost steering. Chip : I told you so. Get out of there. Gadget : Don't be silly. I'll just slow down. (Gadget begins to ease up on the throttle. She is met with a shower of sparks.) Gadget : Speed control gone. I'm ejecting. (Gadget flips the ejection switch on the instrument panel. The seat and Gadget stay in the plane.) Chip : Are you all right? Gadget : I just remembered where those parts go. In the ejection seats. (The right wing is torn away by the wind.) Gadget : Right wing destroyed. I can't control it. Chip : Gadget! Gadget : I'm going down. Mayday! Mayday! (The plane continues to disintegrate and finally crashes into a wall. Gadget is thrown through the windshield.) Chip : Gadget, do you read me? (Nothing but static comes from the radio.) Chip : Gadget! Answer me. (More static.) Chip : We've got to get out there. Fast! (The Rangers run out the door.) (Scene shifts to Gadget's crash site. She is lying on the ground, blood trickling from open wounds in her head and arms. The Rangers pull up with an ambulance close behind.) Chip : There she is! (Two paramedics get out of the ambulance with a stretcher. They rush over to Gadget's limp form and carry it to the ambulance.) Monty : You go ride in the ambulance, Chip. I'll bring Dale to the hospital. (Chip gets in the ambulance with the paramedics. They all drive away to the hospital.) (Scene shifts to the Emergency Room at the hospital. Gadget is lying on a bed with a heart monitor hooked to her. Two doctors are trying to revive her.) Doctor #1 : Get a trauma team in here. STAT. Doctor #2 : No pulse. No breathing. We're losing her. (Both doctors attempt CPR. The heart monitor goes flat and emits a solid tone. A translucent image of Gadget gets up out of the bed.) Doctor #1 : Cancel the trauma team and bring in the Coroner. (The doctors pull a sheet over Gadget's face. Gadget walks over to the body, unaware of its identity.) Gadget : Poor girl. She looked too young to die. Maybe I know her. (Gadget tries to lift the sheet, but her hand passes through it.) Gadget : That's strange. I didn't even feel it. (Scene shifts to the hospital waiting room. Monty and Zipper are sitting on the couch. Chip and Dale are pacing. The Doctor walks in.) Chip : Is she going to live? Doctor #1 : There was nothing we could do. The wounds were too extensive. I'm sorry. Chip : May we see her? Doctor #1 : I don't see why not. After all, she was your friend. (Scene shifts to the Emergency Room. Gadget is still trying to lift the sheet. The Doctor walks in with the others.) Gadget : Hi, guys. What are you doing here? (She stands in front of Chip and he walks through her, not even noticing.) Doctor #1 : Here she is, but it's not a pretty sight. (Gadget looks over the Doctor's shoulder as he pulls the sheet back. Her body is lying there, with several wounds.) Gadget : She looks just like me. Could it be Lawaini? Chip : I still can't believe it. I told her not to fly so fast. Gadget : What do you mean? She couldn't fly a plane if it was on autopilot. (The Doctor replaces the sheet.) Doctor #1 : Before you leave, I'll need some information for the death certificate. Name? Chip : Gadget Hackwrench. H-a-c-k-w-r-e-n-c-h. Gadget : What? Is that really me? Could I be... dead? (The Doctor keeps asking for information. His voice fades into the background.) Gadget : How? When? Why? What was I doing? I was flying my new plane, and started having trouble. I went down, and now I'm... dead. (Gadget looks back at the bed. The Doctor finishes the death certificate.) Doctor #1 : Thank you. I'll have the body sent to the funeral home today. I really hate this part of my job. Chip : The only worse one would be undertaker. Let's go. (The Rangers leave and Gadget follows them.) Dale : I can't believe she's gone. Gadget : But I'm not gone. I'm right in front of you. (A bright shaft of light falls in front of Gadget. She stops and falls to her knees. A deep, kind voice speaks to her.) Voice : Gadget, it's time to go. Gadget : Go where? I can't be dead. Voice : Yes, you can. You must come with me to determine where you go. Gadget : You mean, Heaven or He- er... the hot place? Voice : Yes. Come. (Gadget steps into the light and begins to rise. As she reaches the top, her coveralls turn into a white robe.) (Scene shifts to in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is at a desk, where a long line of people and animals are waiting for judgement. Gadget gets in the back of the line.) Dog : Yeah, I was the perfect car chaser. Then I decided to chase Evil Kneivel during one of his stunts. How did you get here? Gadget : I didn't listen to my friends' warnings. Human : Not very smart of either of you. I'm glad I went down as a human. Dog : Oh, yeah? What happened to you? Human : Lung cancer. Ten packs a day for three years. Gadget : And he's supposed to be the one with superior mental facilities. (By now, they have reached the front of the line.) St. Peter : Next. (Gadget walks up to the desk.) St. Peter : Next! Come on, I don't have all century. Gadget : Excuse me. I'm down here. (St. Peter looks down over his desk.) St. Peter : Oh, another mouse. Let me guess, cat get you? Gadget : No, I had a crash landing. St. Peter : When did the boss start letting mice fly? The bat was bad enough. Gadget : Some of my best friends are bats, and I've been flying since I was born. My dad was a pilot. St. Peter : Ah, you must be Gadget Hackwrench. Your father, Geegaw, is waiting for you just over there. (Gadget looks around and sees Geegaw standing by the gates. She runs over and hugs him.) Gadget : I've missed you so much, Dad. Geegaw : I missed you, too. I see you found some friends. Gadget : They're almost the family I never had. I hope they can get along without me. So, what's it like up here? Geegaw : They don't call it Heaven for nothing. You should see what's behind that gate. Of course, if you do you can never go back. Gadget : You mean, I could go back to Earth and still be alive? Geegaw : Yes, but by the time you're cleared, all of your friends will be here. You have to take it up with the big guy, and it takes forever to get an appointment with Him. Gadget : You mean forever forever, or just a very long time? Geegaw : Forever forever. We mean what we say up here. St. Peter : That's right. It's virtually impossible to go back, anyway. There are a few people who have, but they never even got to my desk, let alone the Gates. You have been cleared for entry, so you don't need to worry about going to the basement. Geegaw : Shall we go? Gadget : Sure, but is there some way I can see what my friends are doing? Geegaw : Of course, but it's inside the gates. Gadget : Then what are we waiting for? (The Pearly Gates open and Gadget and Geegaw go through. The Gates close behind them, and Geegaw leads her to a television screen.) Geegaw : Just tell it who you want to see, and you'll be able to see them as if you were in the same room. Gadget : I'd like to see the Rescue Rangers. (The screen comes alive with a picture of the Rangers in Gadget's room, sorting through everything.) (Scene shifts to Gadget's room. The Rangers are sorting through her belongings, deciding who should get what.) Chip : I can't believe that she's never coming back. I never got a chance to tell her how I felt. Dale : Neither did I. I wonder which one of us she would have liked more. Monty : I think she liked us all. But if it were to come to romance, I don't think it would be any of us. She would have met someone that understood her. I know that I could never understand some of the things she said. Dale : I keep expecting her to burst through the door and tell us about her latest invention. If I could only see her again, for just a few minutes. Chip : We'll never see her again as long as we live. (Scene shifts to Heaven. Gadget turns off the viewer and stands up.) Geegaw : Gadget, is something wrong? Gadget : I just realized how ignorant I've been. Chip and Dale have both been trying to get a real relationship started with me for years, and I hadn't even noticed. I want to go home. Geegaw : This is home, now. When I died, I knew how much you would miss me, but I stayed. Do you know why? Gadget : Because I needed to cope with the loss? Geegaw : That's right! Your friends will never forget you, and you'll never forget them. But they will get over you. That's what life is all about. Trials and tribulations that everyone has to endure. Gadget : But they need me. I'm the only one that really knows how everything works there. If anything gets broken, they're up the creek without a paddle. Geegaw : They'll figure it out. I never thought that you'd learn to fly, but the first time you met them, you handled the Screaming Eagle perfectly. Gadget : Until I wrecked it on the glacier. They're going to wreck something that I built, but they won't be able to fix it. I want out! (Gadget runs back to the Pearly Gates. Her father goes after her. She tries to open the Gate, but is shocked by electricity.) Geegaw : You can't get out that way. That Gate is the world's biggest flyzapper, if you'll pardon the expression. Gadget : I don't care. I want out! (Gadget shakes the Gate, repeating "I want out!" several times. Everything gets wavy as scene shifts to a hospital room. Gadget is lying in bed, shaking around. Chip, sitting in a nearby chair, rushes over to her.) Chip : Somebody get a doctor in here! (The Doctor runs in, the other Rangers close behind.) Chip : She started screaming "I want out!" and almost shook the bed to pieces. (Gadget wakes up, confused.) Gadget : Chip? Dale? I thought I'd never see you again. Dale : That's just what I was thinking. You've been out for hours. Monty : Yeah, you're lucky to be alive, luv. That crash gave you quite a few wounds. Gadget : Alive? It must have been a dream. I died and went to Heaven. My father was there, and I couldn't get back. They wouldn't let me out. Chip : Well, were glad to have you back. We thought you were a goner. (Gadget hugs Chip then Dale.) Gadget : I really don't want to have to go through that again. Not until the day I die. THE END